5 things I’d rather talk about than the election


My poor little Facebook feed is taking a real beating these days. I’ve got friends spanning the political landscape and they don’t hesitate to hurl video damnations, bullet list warnings, and absolute truths all over my social media. Since all this yelling and carrying on isn’t helping anyone, I’ve come up with five other topics for conversation. Feel free to add your own in the comments. Here are mine.

1.The role of earthworms in sustainability.

In truth, you’d have to lead this discussion because I don’t know that much about earthworms except that apparently they are busy little critters that make our soil more . . . I don’t know . . . soilish. Who knew?

2.Janet Jackson and her bad self.

Rhythm Nation came out in 1989. That album, her fourth (her first two were duds, her third, Control was awesome), has some of my favorite songs ever. “The Knowledge;” remember that one? Great song. Anyway, she’s been on television and in films; she’s produced phenomenal music videos; and she dances like a boss. She’s also flopped plenty of times. She’s had roles that were mediocre, songs that were bland, and projects that never got off the ground (like her first marriage that was annulled after just a year). But she keeps starting over again and again. I’m not saying she’s an icon of virtue or anything, I’m just saying you could talk about her accomplishments for quite awhile. “[That’s] Janet – Miss Jackson if you’re nasty.” (Control, “Nasty,” 1986)

3.Male seahorses.

So when a boy seahorse and a girl seahorse love each other very much, the girl seahorse deposits her eggs in the boy’s pouch. Then the boy seahorse carries the baby seahorse to term! (You can’t make this stuff up.) Plus they’re monogamous! Admit it: you now want to go tell someone this, don’t you?

4.The Bronte’ sisters and what a shame it is they didn’t live long enough to write more books.

If you haven’t read Charlotte Bronte’s Jane Eyre, just stop right now and go get yourself a copy. I do not know how many times I have read it. It’s the absolute best. Wuthering Heights, by sister Emily, is also delicious and little Anne also produced a classic in Agnes Grey. The Bronte’ women. To write like they did . . . (sigh) . . . . Unfortunately, none of them lived to old age, so there are fewer Bronte books than the world could use. But read the ones that do exist! You won’t regret it.

5.My trip to Greenland

Yep Greenland. Bet you don’t know anyone else who has been to Greenland do you? I went to visit my friend Lene who had been an exchange student to the US in 1978. I was only 16 when I boarded that plane for the Great White North and I spent a night in a Montreal hotel on the way out and on the way back.

Hold on. Maybe we should also chat about the neglectful parenting Gloria and Harold Mitchell displayed back in 1982. What in the world were they thinking? They let a 16-year-old travel to Greenland! Greenland! It’s a glacier with people around the edges. (Clearly they were trying to get rid of me.) Mother says that they told me I had to earn the money if I wanted to go; the ticket was so expensive they figured that would be the end of it. Then when I saved up the money, they felt they had to (air quotes) “Keep their promise to me.” Okay, but dadgum. That’s crazy.

Not as crazy as the 2016 election. But still.


By Aileen MItchell Lawrimore

Aileen Mitchell Lawrimore is a mother x 3, wife x 35 (years not men), minister, speaker, writer, retreat leader, and lover of beagles and books. She has a lot to say.