You remember that time you were absolutely certain you were right?
- You had no doubts; you were RIGHT!
- This thing you thought? 100% objective truth.
- You were so certain, you made sure everyone knew the truth you had discovered.
- Those who disagree? Idiots!
You were just that sure, right up until you realized you were completely wrong?
Raise your hand if you’ve been there? (Insert video of me raising my hand.)
The thing is, I think what I think because I think I’m right. Did you get that? I mean, I don’t form opinions and then say, “Okay yeah. That’s wrong, but I’m going with it.” It’s not like I hear something that makes perfect sense to me and say, “I agree! But I already think something else, so I’m not going to change my mind.”
No, we think what we think because we think we are right. But often, we’re wrong; or at least, only partially right. We just struggle to admit that because we’re so passionately committed to the wrong idea.
Because I’ve been caught in the trap so many times, over the years, I’ve learned to qualify statements with “I could be wrong.” Admitting that I could be wrong creates space for me to hear other opinions. It makes me more open, less rigid. In these days, when our opinions polarize us into static affiliations, I find it especially helpful.
Here’s what I mean.
Two people are talking about a popular movie.
Person 1: “I never miss a Denzel Washington movie.”
Person 2: “That was not Denzel, it was Jamie Foxx.”
Resisting the urge to pull out her phone and look it up. . .
Person 1: “Hmm. I’m pretty sure it was Denzel, but I could be wrong.”
Now, P1 knows full well it was Denzel because who in their right mind doesn’t recall Denzel with vivid acuity? But she doesn’t dig her opinionated heels in because the relationship—regardless of its current depth—matters more.
That phrase not working for you? Here’s some of its cousins.
- I have heard it both ways.
- I may have misunderstood.
- I have a different view on that.
- Maybe my information was wrong.
- That’s how I understood it.
No matter how you say it, admitting you could be wrong is not a sign of weakness. In fact, it’s evidence of maturity and strength. And on this, I am absolutely certain that I’m right!
