“If the person says it 1000 times, will it make it true?”
I can’t remember if someone else taught me this saying or if I read it in a children’s book or something. There’s even a chance I made it up myself. Not sure. In any case, it’s a great question to help kids (or adults) deal with bullies. It works like this.
Bully: “You are a poo-poo head!”
Person to self: If this bully says this 1000 times, will it make it true?
Person realizes that there’s no such thing as a poo-poo head & that the bully can’t change that no matter how many times the statement is made. Person dismisses insult.
This kind of exaggeration shows just how impotent the bully really is. In fact, it strips all their power away and turns bullies into nice, regular people. Well. Maybe not exactly nice, but better anyway.
As an adult, our bullies can be coworkers or supervisors, family members or neighbors. They come in all forms. Here’s an example of an adult bully.
Bully: “You’re eating THAT? You have no self-control!
Person to self: If this bully says this 1000 times, will it make it true?
Person realizes that self-control comes in all forms, including holding one’s tongue rather than being rude. Person dismisses insult.
Oh one more thing! Often, our worst bullies are in our heads: those nagging voices that call us names and put us down. Next time that happens, try this.
Head bully: “You can’t do anything right!”
Person to Head Bully: “You can say that 1000 times, but it won’t be true. It’s just not rational. Surely there is something I do correctly? I put on my clothes, made my bed, brushed my teeth, tied my shoes, the list is endless of things I’ve done right just today!”
Person realizes that both voices are speaking and what matters most is who gets the brain’s microphone.
This is just one tool you can have in your emotional toolbox to help you cope with bullies. Click here for a few more. But how about you? What techniques can you recommend for managing the bullies of life?
